A Vikings tail. History made into a journey

Part 0,1 The background of the background

Hello

My name is Harald Sigursson. I was born high up in the north at a place called Viken in Norway.

Yes, I am a Viking, and this is my story of fire and ice.

We Norwegians, and probably all Norsemen, are proud of our history, therefore we start this tail by telling the story as I was told our old history from my ancestors when I grew up.

Nobody knows where we Norsemen originated from. After the glaciers started to retract north we followed it and ended up in the high north. As the population grew, we were organized into smaller tribes with a Chieftain or leader figure for each specific tribe. We started trading with each other and the communities thrived. Later we developed costal vessels and started exploring our surroundings. Scandinavia is not an area that accommodates large numbers of people because of its topography.

When the population reached a certain number of people, some expanded and settled in new and wakened areas. This is how we started: Trading, exploring and settling. Soon we started exploring even further and we met other tribes that had settled on the coast or in vicinity of larger rivers. We gathered information and quickly learned that we had a few commodities on hand that were scares among our new business partners. They, on the other hand, had things we wanted. Grain, wine and different produces, pressures minerals including silver and later gold.

We Norwegians we had a lot of wood and iron ore (mostly in peat) to trade on the continent. We also had a good supply of reindeer and elk antlers, Ivory from whales and walrus and we were excellent craftsmen.

The Wet Stone.

An axe, a sword, a needle or a fishhook is not much worth if it is dull and this is maybe our most valuable commodity. Norway has and endless supply of wet-stones and this you need to keep your tools and weapons sharp. Since a good wet-stone is a sought-after commodity in most other countries in Europa our trade expeditions were extremely profitable.

Part 0,2 Becoming a Viking

Ok, we were traders, explorers and settlers and we had stuff to trade. In the early years our boats were costal vessels powered by the men and women onboard. This rowing crew (called Rus) traded in the Kattegat area (the sea between East Norway, West Sweden and Denmark). Some disputes were probably not possible to avoid but the Norwegians and the Danes was mostly friends, and they also controlled most of Western Sweden. In the early 500 AD a huge volcanic outburst happened on Island, this eruption gave probably 2-3 years of very limited growth season in north Europa. As in all hard times, (also today) it is the weakest that pays the price of economic decline. This led to a concentration of power and wealth by those that had the resources to see hard times through. On the backside of this eruption and then later the Justinian plage around 540AD these power houses emerged. In Norway they were places like Borre in Vestfold and Kaupang in Telemark (yes this is the same as in <The Hobbit> by J.R.R. Tolkien and where he found the inspiration) In Denmark places like Ribe and Hedeby was power centers.

In Denmark they called us natives from Viken for Vikings, meaning people or traders from Viken.

Part 0,3 Viking Traders

When we Vikings adopted and refined the technology of sails it was no turning back. The clinker-built Viking sailing ship was born. This allowed for ocean going voyages cutting the trade routes and manpower to a minimum. This is where the wet-stones come into full effect. With a sail you need a lot of ballast to counterweigh the force of the sail. Since wet-stones are heavy it is an excellent ballast. When we arrived at another trade post on the continent, we could sell the ballast for top money and replace it with cheap merchandise like grain, wine, beer and so on to sell in our country for another top money. Replacing the ballast “down there”, if needed, was easy and free of charge so there was no extra cost adding on. When we arrived back in Norway, we thru the worthless ballast in pails at places like Mølen. This is huge rock pile close to Kaupang in Telemark and it’s there also today. You can have a look if you are in the area.

Part 0,3 Viking Raiders

These power houses had as mentioned a Chieftain or a local King. They controlled most of the land (because of the hard times) and there was not much for a family’s second, third, fourth offspring to live on. Therefore, these men and women (yes women worriers also) were organized into a Hird. (professional guards for the king)

Surprisingly, it was of course not far from being a professional soldier to desire a fight now and then. Some local clashes were natural but soon we realized that it was much easier to raid foreign settlements instead of our own, and so it started.

The accepted start of the Viking age is 793AD, marked by the raid of the Lindisfarne monastery in England, but we started much earlier than that. The raiding started to the east. First dawn in today’s Baltic and east Europa. There lived the Slavic people. We raided, plundered and kidnapped the Slavic men and woman we encountered. We took them home to our homestead to work them on our farms or we sold them to others. This is where the word slaves come from in English language. Slavic people taken prisoners and sold/traded by the Vikings.

This trade quickly became a solid income for us, and we kept doing this until we went vest and took on England, Friesland and Frankien and whatever else was of interest to us.

This is where I come in.

Part 1, Geneses, In a place up north lived a young Viking…

As mentioned, my name is Harald Sigursson. Sometime around the year 1015 I saw first daylight. I had a half-brother called Olav Haraldsson; he was about 15 years older than me. We had the same mother, Åsta Gudbrandsdatter, but different fathers. Olavs father was naturally killed while my father was surprisingly still living.

Olav H. was always away traveling around the known world. He had been in England, Europa and Gardarriket (Ukraine and Russia) several times and had meet a lot of different people.

One day he came back saying that he had found something important. This something was not a thing or a place; it was something not physical but spirituel. He told me that him and I and the rest of his team, needed to go to a place called Stiklestad. We were going to a match against a group from the middle of Norway called Nidaros and that we needed to convert them to the true belief. Long story short: We met them there; they outnumbered us 4 to 1 and the fight was fierce. Our opponent was high on a mix of mushrooms (local drug substitute that was allowed in matches back then) and fueled by rage.

A gay called Tore Hund (Tore the dog) killed my brother on the pitch that day. We were hammered by these native people, and it was very clear to me that they were not ready to convert to the ONE belief for now.

Me and a few others had to make a tactical retreat, and we went hiding in the woods to the east (Todays Sweden). If we were captured it would be a Blood Eagle (Viking punishment executed on the enemy to make a statement) for me because of my brother. These were dangerous times, I was 15, had just been in my first match and I didn’t even know why.

Part 2, The man with the axe

After a few days hiding out, we decided that it was safe enough to start moving. We split up and I disguised myself and started on the journey back home. The journey from Nidaros to Viken overland by foot takes about 5-6 days and of course there were others on the trail. On day 4, I had crossed Rondane (Mountain in Norway) and was approaching Lillehammer. I was far enough away from those men in Nidaros, and I could drop my guard a bit.

I was at the edge of Mjøsa (Largest freshwater lake in Norway) and I boarded the ferry (Skibladner) to cross it. Skibladner was the ship from Frøy (One of the Viking Gods and we had many gods back then) and this ship was magical, and it always had tailwind), so the crossing only took a couple of hours.

Together with me on the ferry was a man with a large doble headed axe and some other suspicious looking gays. Suddenly the man with the axe looks at me and says: You are Olav Haraldsson half-brother, right? I was so caught off guard that it just plumped a; Yes, out of me.

OK, that was it, I’m dead, I was thinking. But the axe man continued talking: I know your brother and I know what he was trying to achieve up there in Nidaros.

Do you?

Well, I didn’t know, I had followed my brother to Nidaros just because it was supposed to be an epic match.

The axe man continued: Olav had converted to a person called Jesus Christ and his father, the one God. The trip to Nidaros was his mission to convert our opponents into believing in the same. Now Olav is dead he says, and we can go back to believing in our original Gods, Odin, Tor and all the others.

I was curious about how he knew so much, it had only been 6 days since the match took place, so I took my chance, put out my hand and introduced myself.

He replied: I am Eirik Blodøks (Eirik Bloodaxe to you) and I am King of Norway.

Short info on Eirik Bloodaxe (Second King of Norway)

He was the first-born son of Harald Halvdanson (Later Harald Fairhair, First King of Norway) Eirik’s father was rumored to have 98 children, all with a claim to the throne. Eirik killed of all that opposed him, he started off by killing his 5 closest brothers with that exact axe of course, thereby the name Bloodaxe.

Short info on Harald Fairhair Halvdanson

Harald Fairhair was the son of Halvdan Svarte (Halvdan the Black) He was a Chieftain from Ringerike in Viken, and he had his throne in the same place as I was born years later.

Ok, this gets confusing, mostly because all characters seem to have names like Harald, Eirik or Olav. Later the name Haakon will also be thrown in the mix.

Back to the ferry. Eirik and I was talking, and he told me that he was out to kill a pregnant woman on direct order from his wife Gunnhild. He had been in Lillehammer and split the scull of another brother (with the axe of course) because he had a claim to the throne. The problem was that his pregnant wife had escaped, and her unborn child could potentially be a threat to Eirik’s own sons claim to the throne according to Gunnhild

It struck me that this stone-cold killer was ruled by a woman, but that was the game back then. Women had the same rights in the Viking community as men.

Eirik went on by saying that he wanted to get rid of Gunnhild because she was a bad witch, but he was afraid of her spells and that it would lead to denied entry to Valhalla (Very important place for any Viking). Later I heard that Eirik had left his wife and gone to England for some more scull splitting activities.

On the far banks of Mjøsa, I said goodbye to Eirik and his men and went home.

Part 3, Going Viking

I spent the next couple of years investigating the family tree and found out that I also had a distance claim to the throne of Norway and that I was lucky not to be another notch in Eirik’s axe.

One cloudy day I was outside my house having a beer, and I decided it was time to see what was out there and go Viking.(Picture on the Start page of this site)

After a voyage across the North and Irish see, I finally arrived in Dubh Linn (Todays Dublin). In Dublin there were several familiar faces. Dublin was established by us Vikings around 840AD, and we had a well-established team there. Dublin had a special mix of rule. It was ruled by three brothers that all was distance relatives of myself. Ivar the Boneless, Ubbe and Sigurd Snake-in-the-eye. They were all descendants of Ragnar Lodbrok and dangerous people. I participated in several convincing matches against local second-grade Irish teams all over Irland together with them.

Ivar (Boneless) had started up by taking prisoners from these matches, but the genius was that instead of exporting them abroad as slaves, he sold them back to the team he had abducted them from. This was highly profitable and after the prisoner was returned he could go and do the same over again after a while. The money and valuables piled up. After a hefty party in Temple Bar district in Dublin, I decided that it was time to move on and continue my journey.

Later I heard that this party is still going on today.

I had a dream to go vest but at the time Leiv Erikson (Discovered America 500 years before Columbus) had not yet discovered the see-rout to Vinland (America to you), so I went to Isle of Man, another Viking stronghold. After a few days resting I made landfall in Scotland. I played a round of Golf with the local ruler that was of course also a fellow Viking.

Later I heard that another Viking, Magnus Berrføtt (Magnus with bare legs) had been over there and done a few matches against them and at the same time inspired the Scots to drop their pants and convert to skirts.

Part 4, Matches in Jordvik

Then I went to Jordvik (York in England). York was the power center for the Vikings in today’s England. It was mostly Danish and Norwegian Vikings in York at that time. When I arrived in York it was ruled, (surprise, surprise) by Eirik Bloodaxe.

The relationship between the Danes and us was quite good because we all had the same goal. Tresure, trading and scull splitting. The Danes liked to be managers, run the treasury and so on. We Norwegians we were the fighters in the field. Eirik told me that he had finally broken free from Gunnhild, He had simply given away his throne to one brother that he had not killed. His name was Haakon Haraldson Adalsteinfostre and he was placed abroad before Eirik manage to send him to Valhalla.

Short on Haakon Haraldson Adalsteinfostre (Third king of Norway)

Haakon was raised in the custody of King Athelstan of Wessex on the order of his father Harald Fairher. He adopted Christendom in England and when Erik Bloodaxe gave him the throne he didn’t make the same mistake as my half-brother Olav. Instead of forcing Christendom on his people he let them continue with their old gods if they wanted. Haakon also founded the Laidangen. Haakon needed this navy in several battles against Gunnhild and Eirik’s sons that was supported by King Bluetooth of Denmark.

They were determined to overthrow him. Haakon managed to get himself the nickname Haakon the Good, this was probably not because he was so kind, but more that Haakon was nicer than his brother Eirik.

Gunnhild and her sons finally manage to kill Haakon, and they take the throne briefly (Harald Eriksson becoming the fourth King in Norway)

Back to York. Eirik and I had several wins against some badly organized teams throughout Northumbria, Mercia and East Anglia. After a short vacation in York, I felt that it was time to have a look east. Eirik gave me an axe and wished me good hunting.

Part 5, Going East

I was offered a lift from York by a nice Irish fellow. He took me to Denmark on his fleet of ships called RyanShips. The problem was that although my ticket was cheap the rate he charged for luggage was outraged. The result was that I had to leave much of my hard earned Danegeld (treasure) buried outside York. I thought that I probably could come back for it later

The stay in Denmark was short. I had to flee Denmark because the history caught up with me.

Haakon Jarl had killed the fourth King of Norway and taking the throne and he is now the fifth King in Norway. But he is a Vasal King on the mercy of King Bluetooth as the son of Erik before him. (Harald Blothooth has financed both so he himself can be the real King of both countries)

Haakon Jarl is one of the gays I fought in Nidaros with my now deceased brother Olav H. and he has recognized me.

Haakon Jarl was down from Nidaros to repay the Danish King Bluetoouth for his support becoming a King. (All Vikings was mercenaries if we gained from it) Make no mistake, Haakon’s fleet and army were strong and the Danish King had invited him down to have a match against a team from Germania (Todays Germany ish). Later I heard that the match ended badly for Germania

Unforcedly for me, the new King Haakon wanted me dead because I had been at Stiklestad with my half-brother earlier and he had also figured out that I had a claim to the throne. I was wanted dead or alive in the hole kingdom of Denmark, and I had to leave fast.

I did this by making my way into the land of the Joms Vikings. Thies gays were not quit right in their heads. This was a band of Berserkers so suddenly I found myself captured and taken into slavery. I couple of months later I was sold to Jaroslav 1, King of Kiev. This was a stroke of luck for me because Jaroslav was a descendant of King Rurik (Viking and founder of Ukraine and most of Russia) and he had known my late brother Olav a decade ago. He recognized my looks amongst the other slaves one day.  I was promptly taken out of captivity and invited to be a guest in his house as long as a wanted.

Part 6, Gardarike and my new team

My time in Kiev was great. Jaroslav and I were running around decimating tribal teams coming from the east. I also met Ellisev, she was the daughter of Jaroslav, and we struck a tone. But this is not a romantic tail, so we move on.

After no more matches was needed to be played around Kiev, Jaroslav suggested that I should take the Væring garden (Varangian army) dawn to Miklagaard (Former Constantinople, todays Istanbul) and have a look for prosperous opportunities in the Roman empire. The Varangian army, as we called our team at that time, was well established and feared throughout the area.

When we couth sight of the mighty walls of Constantinople (Still todays Istanbul) we decided that it would be nice to have a tribute match against a team occupying the Asian side of the Bosporus strait. While our team totally hammered this team the emperor of the east Roman Empire watches from his ramparts.

The emperor was immensely impressed, and our team was invited inside the walls as honorable guests. It was a huge party, and we needed several days of R&R to get back into match fit.

Part 7, Captain of the Varangian’s

Constantinople was at that time the largest and wealthiest city in the known world. The problem the emperor had was that he had not a good team to match the teams in its vicinity. Luckily, we had the team, and we were not reluctant to a considerable rais in salary to play for the Romans.

As captain of the Varangian’s, we traveled far and wide for our matches. We went to Serkland (middle east and north Africa), Jorsal (Todays Jerusalem), Sikiløy (Sicily) to mention some.

In today’s Bulgaria they are still whispering our team’s name. We adopted a new policy. After a match we let one get away. He then ran to the next place and told them what he had experienced. This played in our favor and when we arrived, most of them was either gone or went willingly into slavery.

Later I heard that a gay called Temüjin of Mongolia copied our strategi and had great results with it.

Totally we won more than 80 matches, and the emperor rewarded us handsomely. After crushing all opposition, it was again time to look for new challenges. I left most of my team to uphold our position down there, took a few good men, and set sail into the Mediterranean. Before I left, I carved my name into the balcony of the Church called Hagia Sofia. (its still visible, you can see it even today)

We stopped at Sicily, they remembered the last time we were there, and they bowed to our rule. I left some more men to train and rule them in my place. On our voyage back we also stopped at Menorca, had a pit-stop in Tunisia, and sacked the Sevillian team tree times in a week. We finished up by beating a team from Portugal before we again laid eyes on Scandinavia.

On my way back I run across a qualification match between a Danish team lead by Svein Tjugeskjegg (Forkbeard to you) and a Norwegian team lead by Olav Tryggvason. Olav had just lost the match, and his team was in disarray when I arrived. Olav needed to get away from the Danish, so I offered him a lift.

Part 8, Olav

Olav Tryggvason (Olaf, King of Norway) was indeed born, but no one know were. His father was killed before he saw daylight and his pregnant mother had to flee the country because Gunnhild (Wife of King Erik Bloodaxe) wanted the unborn Olav dead. As soon as he was born, he and his mother were captured by another Viking team, and they were sold into slavery in today’s Riga.

After 7 years he was found by a loyal servant of his late father and was brought to: Yes, guessed it, Kiev. He stayed for several seasons in Kiew and was regarded as a fierce attacker. He was so good that King Burislav of Ventland (Todays Poland ish). asked him to marry his daughter. Olav and princess Geira were head over heels in love. Suddenly Geira dies and Olav is devastated. He leaves all his belongings (dowry from the King) by his father-in-law and goes to Denmark and join up with the Danish team lead by Svein Tjugeskjegg (Forkbeard). Together they travel to a training camp in the southeast town of England called Maldon. After thrashing Cambridge, Ipswich and Colchester they decide to take on some of the London teams. Ethelred King of Wessex tries to bribe them of by paying a danegeld (enormous amount of silver) Olav and Svein accepts but soon they are back for more. They now have such a reputation that all the teams in Greater London decide to join forces against them. Olav and Svein take them on, but the opposition is too much. To make a statement they tear down the London Bridge before they leave town. Later I heard that the English made a song about this.

On the way back Olav tells Svein that he wants to go up to Norway and pay Haakon Jarl (Vasal King under Bluetooth) a visit. Svein, (whose father is Bluetooth), sees now problem with this and agrees that Olav pay Haakon Jarl a visit.

Part 9. Olav VS Haakon Jarl

After the homecoming party in Danmark, Olav sobers up and sails directly to Haakon Jarl in Norway. Olav has heard that Haakon had lost the wardrobe and is soon to be sacked as King. Olav regards himself as the legit King of Norway and he goes to confront Haakon and claim the seat.  As Olav sails in the fjord of Nidaros, Haakon is sacked by a gay called Kark. Olav rounds up Haakon’s team, he signs up a huge defender by the name of Einar Tambarskjelve (forget a translation of his name).

The rest of Haakons team he sends packing over to Sweden. Amongst these are, already mention Tore the dog, the gay that killed my half-brother Olav H.

Later, I heard that Tore Hund (the dog) established a kennel somewhere on the border to Sweden, but the information is unconfirmed.

Part 10, Olav meet Eirik Jarl and the Joms Vikings

Olav is now King of Norway (mostly only the part of middle and north of Norway, because I have claim to the rest) Nevertheless, Olav is a popular ruler up there and after a while he gathers his team and his new signing Einar Tambarskjelve and sets of to collect his belongings in Ventland (Fater-in-law). When he arrives in Ventland, King Burislav refuses to pay up the dowry that was promised Olav for the marriage to his daughter.

Olav is enraged by this and challenges Burislav to a match. But Borislav is a cunning King. He has foreseen this and has hired the team from the Joms Vikings (Remember the lunatics that took me into slavery) Olav sees the danger of defeat and leaves to come back and fight another day.

On his way back he meets Svein and the Danish team, now together with Erik Jarl (Son of Haakon). Naturally Eirik Jarl is pissed on Olav for “stealing” the throne from his father and him.

Short story on Eirik Jarl (Later also King of middle and north of Norway. I still have claim on the rest)

Eirik Jarl is regarded as the best talent in Norway at the time. He has been on a loan contract down at the Joms Vikings to perfect his skills and is now a considerable fighter. He also has the substitution bench from the Joms Vikings on his team and together with Sveins Danish team they are a force to be reckon with. Svein (Now King of the Danes after killing his father Bluetooth) is also pissed at Olav because he has replaced Haakon Jarl (Now Vasal of Svein) and signed his best defender.

The match at Svolder is set already later that day.

Part 11, Match at Svolder

Svolder: This was a place somewhere in the Kattegat or Baltic sea.

Olav and his team take up the challenge, but the opposition is to well organized in a defensive 5-3-2 formation during the first half of the match. After the brake Einar Tambertselve, Olavs new signing has change side and is now playing for Eirik and Svein. This is more than Olav can take, and he refuses to finish the math. He leaves the premises and that is when I meet up with him. Eirik is now King… sorry Vasal King of Svein in Norway.

On our voyage back to Viken (still southeast of Norway, my future kingdom) Olav tells me his story. Since we have much in common, I suggest that Olav join me on a raid down in Frankia that I have planned later that season. Olav is more than willing to play on the continent, so he immediately agrees. But first we need to go to Viken and offload all the earnings from my stay down in Constantinople.

Part 12 Olav and I face Einar Tambarskjelve

We arrive in Viken a few days later. I hide my treasure in a place that is in a fjord and well protected from raids. Later I will be credited with the founding of Oslo and after that the fjord named Oslofjord. We set sail and go by Kaupanger (still largest trade center in Viken at the time)

Just as I am walking in the town, I see a team at the local pitch. Amongst them is a huge man directing his team in formations training. I walk up to them, and the huge gay tells me that his name is Einar. Instantly I understand that this is Einar Tambarskjelve, the man that turned his back on Olav at the match in Svolder.

I then tell him that I also have a team, and we decided to play a friendly match the next day. I rush back to Olav and tell him the story. Moreover, that he will be starting in the squad the next day.

Short story even shorter: We arrive the next day, start the match and Olav, in disguise, (he is listed as Roy Keen in the team that day). Olav (sorry Roy) puts in a tackle so fiercely that Einar breaks both his legs. We finish the rest of his team and leave.

Later I heard that Einars career was put to rest that day and he retired. He moved to the place of Haaland in the south of Norway. Even later, Olav heard that Einar later had a son that he named Erling and that he went to England to fight in the Manchester area.

Part 13, Two seasons in Germany and the Knights Templars

Olav and I are now sailing down the river Rhein. Before we entered the river, we had a few matches against some local teams from Zeeland to warm up. After that we beat in succession: Xanten, Duisburg, Colone, Bonn, Trier and then we relived a few monasteries of their treasure. In our summer break I went down to Switzerland and Liechtenstein to check out a rumor that we heard earlier that year.

You see that the rumor was that the Knights Templar had been relegated from the league down in Palestine and was now setting up a banking system in Switzerland to avoid paying tax to the Vatican. I arranged a few meetings and made some new friends that promised to look after our earnings from the raids down the Rhein. Later I was told that these, so-called friends, formed a new team, called themselves The Swiss Guard and went to play for the Vatican.  

But all these victories got the attention of the emperor of the German-Roman Empire, Karl the Great. He insisted on a match, and we gave him exactly what he wanted. We sacked Aachen and Maastricht and then we settled in a winter camp in Neuss. (place upstream from Colone)

Part 14, Normandy and Paris

After resting during the winter break, we had matches against Colone in the spring and then we set out to investigate a new rumor that there was a rich club in Paris. On the way down the Seine, we trashed Rouen before we laid siege to Paris and looted the club for everything they had. The Chairman of the club, (I think he presented himself as Michell… something), was so devastated that he gave us Rouan and the whole area that surrounded that city.

We are not greedy, so we said thank you and left for Rouan. After arrival we had a huge party and named the area Normandie. (Land of the Norsemen) We left a descendant of my father’s friend (Rollo), to start a team and wait for further instructions. His name was Villiam.

Part 15, Adam of Bremen and Ansgard

Since we now had a firm foothold in Europe, we decided to play by the book. Matches were now getting more regulated on the continent. Matches were obliged to have a referee, and they even were talking about starting up something they called V.A.R.

Nevertheless, Olav and I got an invitation to come to Bremen. Well anchored in the harbor we were met by the Chairman of Werder.

Adam of Bremen greeted us as equals and introduced us around the club and the city of Bremen. During dinner in the Rathaus Keller, he told me that he had met my brother Olav long ago and that he was now canonized as a Saint in the roman church. At the table was also Ansgar, he was Bishop of Hamburg-Bremen, and he shoved great interest in Scandinavia.

The next day we invited Ansgar to follow us to Norway and build us a Catedral and help civilize the Vikings up there.

You must understand that Olav and I was a bit tiered from all this matches and we realized that it would be easier to rule if our people were afraid to go to hell instead of wanting to go to Valhalla.

Part 16, Back in Norway after all these years

Well established back in Norway we decided to share the title. Olav got back his title King of Norway, and I was Co-King. Olav started erecting the Cathedral of Nidaros together with Ansgar and I traveled around the country and convinced our people to convert to Christendom. Some were more reluctant than others and on them I used a little more force. After a short while I got the nickname Hardrada (meaning the hard ruler)

We managed to convince most of the people and those that refused we granted them free access to Valhalla.

Everything was running like clockwork but then on day…

Part 17, King Knut the Greate dies and Harald Godvinson

We got words from Adam in Bremen that King Knut the Great of England and Denmark were dead. Knut was the son of Svein (Forkbeard) Former King of Denmark. I gay called Harald Godvinson had position himself as leader of all English clubs after Knut.

Since I also had claimed that position, due to a lot of different marriages and other nightly activities, I sent for Olav and proposed that we should assemble our best team and go over there and have a match.

Olav was tired of been a King up there in Nidaros. Too much prayer and not enough action maybe. Nevertheless, he suggested that we also include Villiam down in Normandie. (the one we left to rule Normandie and Rouan)

We arranged so that Villiam and his team should arrive in Hastings on 14th October 1066 with his team.

Olav and I would take our team and arrive at Stamford bridge (not that stadium) close to York on the 25^th of September 1066. We suited up, had a couple of Red bull and set of for England.

Part 18, Match at Stamford Bridge and Villiam the Conqueror

It was a very hot and sunny day when we arrived in England. Since our scouts told us that the team of Godwinson was not too be seen, we decided to strip of the armer, leave them in the hotel, and have light training that morning.

The plan was that our team should invite the team from Godwinson up to us in York, meanwhile Villiam and his team took care of the local teams down on the south coast.

We knew from our scouts in England that Godwinson had a strong team, but we had high confidence that we should beat them. While we were doing light training suddenly Godwinson and his team presented themselves at the pitch. We instantly realized that without our gear we would have problems.

One of our men (a huge Berserker we normally used in fixed positions) volunteered to halt Godwinson and his team at the stadium gate so we could reorganize. He held the gate for one hour and sent a lot of Godwinson’s men to wherever they wanted to be in afterlife.

Unfortunately, this was not enough. Godwinson’s team beat us even if we did everything in our power to win. Decimated and seriously injured Olav, me and what was left of the team fled England to maybe come back one day for a rematch.

Godwinson now got words about Villiams team. He saw the danger rushing south.

Down in Hastings, Villiam had little trouble eradicating the remains of Godwinson’s tiered team. Villiam later subdues the rest of the London teams and claims the title. He takes the title Conqueror and even built himself a house on the banks of the river Thems.

He is now the Elected one. Later I heard that a Portuguese gay copied Villiam and named himself: The chosen one.

I like to think that the legacy we left in England was crucial to the raise of the British empire. If it hadn’t been for the Viking genes we implanted (some more willingly than others) the English had not gone exploring like they did.

Part 14 Recover from injuries and new adventures

Back in Norway we realized that our glory time had passed. We had so many injuries that we decided to leave this blood sport to younger generations. Olav and Ansgar went back to Nidaros to continue the Nidaros Dom building and I settled in Oslo.

Many years, and then even more years after that, and then some, I called on Olav and asked if he was a little bit bord of everyday life. He confirmed and I presented the new plan. The next day we were sitting in my living room, and I said:

Olav, we have concurred Europa, Russia, part of Asia and then some. America is discovered by Leiv Eriksson, and some British dude has found a land called Australia. What do you think, shall we go on a new adventure? Olav nodded his head…

Then we turned off the lights and left for the World tour 2025!

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While we are traveling the back side of the world on our World tour 2025, we got word that the new Norwegian team lead by a local lad called Martin Ødegaard had qualified to the next World Cup. (By the way: Einar Tambarskjelve son, Erling Haaland is also in the lineup)

Old memories were then flowing back and Olav and I decided, on the Island of Fiji, to stage a comeback and appear as suporters in the WC in America 2026.

To be continued…